The reality is...it's not real | Pretty Handy Girl

The reality is that what you see on TV and magazines isn’t real life. We all know this, but do we tend to forget after a while?

I was watching one of those popular HGTV reality shows the other day. This one happened to be filmed in our neighborhood, so I was very familiar with the home that was being renovated. I drove by the house several times while the work was being done and I only saw the show hosts there three times. Those were the few days that filming was being done. The rest of the time (many months of renovating) I never saw the hosts. But, I’m sure you probably already realized this fact. It’s understandable, the celebrity hosts have to record other shows. And there’s no reason for them to stick around and watch joint compound or paint dry.

As you can imagine, I couldn’t wait to see the episode. Before the show aired I ran into the homeowners while walking our dogs. We chatted for a while and I thought they were a super delightful couple. Both polite, kind and fun to talk to. They both shared my love for our neighborhood. When the show finally aired last month, I was dismayed to see this young couple turned into picky, hard-to-please homeowners that fit into the “script” of the show. But, what surprised me most was the final reveal of the “new” value of the improved house. The home was valued above homes almost 1,000 sq feet larger in similar condition in our neighborhood. I shouldn’t have cared much. But, I did.

I’m not sure why I was feeling anger. I’ve known for a long time that reality tv isn’t really reality. Maybe I was angry because I see too many photos and TV shows that portray “real” people living in perfect homes. I think I was angered because the more we watch, the more we read and the more we pin — we begin to forget that what we see isn’t reality. I think we all need a reminder about how unreal “reality” is.

Last year I found myself feeling less and less adequate after pinning hair tutorials, inspiring rooms and home décor ideas. I could barely open a magazine without feeling depressed that my life didn’t resemble what I was seeing. I had to take a few months hiatus from Pinterest. I read less magazines during that time. I felt the need to put blinders on and focus on my life and my home.

With these thoughts still running around my mind, I was very hesitant to share the news that my home is featured in the latest Better Homes and Gardens Kitchen & Bath Makeovers.

kitchen-bath-makeovers-cover

I don’t want anyone to look at the pictures and think that we live in a picture perfect home. Quite the contrary.  To prove my point, I took these photos two days before the magazine shoot:

messy-kitchen

80% of the time, my home office looks similar to this. (Although Handsome Guy may say it looks like this more than I realize.)

messy-office

At any given moment I can be in the midst of an organization project or getting ready to sell furniture on Craig’s List. Or, more likely, in the middle of a project where I have to leave everything out while I run to pick up the kids from school.

dining-room-mess

EVERYDAY the kids come home from school, they are met with a similar sight in our mudroom.  With all the clutter on the floor (and mountains of laundry piling up), they think that a few more pairs of shoes on the floor won’t matter. Never mind that they only have to deposit them 6 inches to the left into the shoe storage bench.

mudroom-mess

But, the truth is that my home never looks like it should be in a magazine, unless:

1. We have company coming.

2. I pick up everything; I clean everything; and I have a fantastic stylist, like Andrea, to decorate…

The Reality Is...

…and a talented photographer, like Brie, who knows what angle to turn her camera and how to light the shot with lighting and reflectors. Plus, how to adjust and color correct the final images on the computer.

brie-working-photographer

I truly believe that if you had a stylist and a professional photographer come to your home, they would make your home look magazine-worthy too!

And just so you know, this is the REAL Pretty Handy Girl doing real laundry in her most comfortable sweats and jeans. And her REAL day old hair in a bun. I lead a truly glamorous life, don’t I?

phg-doing-laundry

Now that you know the reality — if you do want to pick up a copy of the latest Better Homes & Gardens Kitchen + Bath Makeovers issue — you will get some ideas on how to pull off a bathroom renovation on a budget:

bhg-kitchen-bath-makeovers-bathroom

And take on a kitchen renovation where you can save oodles by doing most of the labor yourself:

inside-kitchen-bath-makeovers

Just don’t forget that your home can be just as beautiful when it’s clean, clear of clutter, and you have professionals to make it look good.

The reality is...it's not real | Pretty Handy Girl

Sincerely,

PHGFancySign

60 replies
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  1. Vivian Foster
    Vivian Foster says:

    Thanks for sharing real “life” …. it’s wonderful to look at magazines for ideas and to dream of that perfect room, but it’s even more wonderful to see that life gets messy! I love how my home looks when I’m expecting company …. but it’s exhausting trying to keep it that way and it makes me cranky! Laundry happens, projects happen, offices are where work happens ….. thanks for sharing yours!

    Reply
  2. Mrs Major Hoff
    Mrs Major Hoff says:

    I love you Brittany. Thank you for being bold enough to stand up and show the world the reality of life. I’ve been guilty of not including a project because the surrounding area wasn’t perfect, or cropping a picture just so. There are days I remind myself that I have 4 boys that need a mama to love them and nurture them and not have a fit over all the toothpaste in the sink. (Why do they do that??? Or leave the shoes outside the basket? 4 inches??? WHY?).
    Can’t wait to check out the magazine. I adore your happy kitchen!

    Reply
  3. Katie @ Addicted 2 DIY
    Katie @ Addicted 2 DIY says:

    I love this, Brittany! Congratulations on your magazine feature! I can’t wait to go pick one up! And thank you for showing the real side of your house. It definitely is hard sometimes to see these beautiful homes in magazines and on Pinterest and not feel a little down about the current state of my home. I have to remind myself that the camera hides a lot;) And I totally agree about how reality TV twists things to make people seem different than they actually are. It’s awful what they do for ratings.

    Reply
  4. Kathy H
    Kathy H says:

    Very well done! My daughter runs into this “reality” mindset with many of her clients. They want instant results that they see on TV and can’t understand how the project can take six to eight weeks! Or more depending on their contractor. They don’t realize all that those shows have behind them including lots of donated products and skills that don’t get figured into the cost. And because they have production crews to contend with, they have a tighter schedule. Your local tile guy is not just working on your project so he can’t just be at your disposal when you make the final decision. If he is any good, he has jobs lined up and has to keep to a schedule.

    Reply
  5. jet
    jet says:

    Hi, hi,
    you’re right tele ins’t real live. I have experianced that myself as well.
    Only differend from your story. I was a member in a tear jearking choire, we where fun to watch.
    Really. There was a dutch talenting show , that had a leak in the choirs , so a prof of the show asked us to come. it was awefull to watch how the proff took profite of people that where trying to steal the show.
    I was the only one that was a wheelie so i was afraid that they made me a ill weak persone.
    I’m tottally not like that. And all the views they made where mostly of me.
    After all we didn’t came far in the show, and the views of me where okay, and like i’m.
    But of all the others it was horrible and i know now for sure televion ins’t real live like we all think.
    So be pleased that you wheren’t be choossen, it’s not fun that all people see you in your home .
    I have been for several years a kind of celeberty in my old city. Which i didn’t like mostly because i’m allways in the picture of my wheels.
    So don’t be angery or something else , just be glad that you haven’t be the one on the tele, because it’s not only fun.
    I still like your blog and all the things you shared to do ourself, you’re my fave instructer;-D

    Reply
  6. Barbara Shively
    Barbara Shively says:

    Just like how our house looks in the realtor listing – pretty bare and sterile (but it did sell in two weeks thanks to that staging). But I liked it better with all the kids and grandchildren there; dishes and food all over the kitchen; toys and children all over the living room and the foyer filled with coats, bags and shoes. That was MUCH more fun!

    Reply
  7. Gail
    Gail says:

    Oh Brittany – What a Terrific, Honest Post!! Thanks for being brave enough to let us know that you too live like the rest of us. It’s hard to believe that you can get overwhelmed by all the perfection of blogs and magazines and Pinterest that show seemingly perfect rooms and homes and lives with all of your skills. I definitely feel hopeless sometimes that my home will ever look anywhere near what we see in magazines, on tv and online. That’s what I love about your blog – I always learn something and enjoy seeing your real lived-in home! Thank you!!!

    Reply
  8. Timisha
    Timisha says:

    This is an AWESOME Post! I can totally relate to this. It’s what I’m always talking about when I go through the magazines and home blog sites “after” pictures. Who’s house looks like that? especially when you have an active family.

    Thank you! & Congratulations on BHG! I am so proud of you!

    Reply
  9. horthapp
    horthapp says:

    Bless you for being so very real. I work as a professional organizer & so I know full well the reality of most folks’ homes. I, too, love a beautiful environment but I also appreciate the different kind of beauty that’s not portrayed on the tv shows & in the magazines. A home that’s a true reflection of life being lived to the fullest. To my eyes, that’s love in action and that is more important and more lasting than any perfect room. Keep looking at your home through that lens and you’ll never feel that you fall short. All the best to you & your family.

    Reply
  10. Alicia S Campos
    Alicia S Campos says:

    Kudos to you for this post! I think like you, the majority of people forget REALITY in “reality tv” only refers to what they want you to see. I’m a huge fan of all the shows on HGTV and the magazines, I have learned so much. But whenever I see the pictures, I know that it only looks that way because of the stylist, decorators and photographers. Honestly it should look that great when a professional is doing it. We also all should be so lucky to have our homes/apt styled and de-cluttered every weekend so they can look magazine ready.
    Kudos and Congratulations!

    Reply
  11. MARY FRANCES
    MARY FRANCES says:

    I LOVE YOU…thank you so much for this blog post! I too get depressed and overwhelmed when my house looks like a bomb went off in it and I pick up a magazine or check Pinterest and want to throw everything I own away and start over. But…we LIVE here and I have a messy husband, two cats and lots of stuff I like to look at….and guess what..I wouldn’t have it any other way! Congratulations on the BHG story. YOu work hard and deserve it!

    Reply
  12. brenda
    brenda says:

    THANK YOU. this is what I like about your blog. I never feel like you have left out the hard spots in a project. congratulations on the magazine spread.
    how are the contractor boards coming along? I once many times ago toyed with the idea of doing that so I could work with my hsb. he had some challenges with finding help plus some health issues. working full tim just never left that much time to study. I admire your ambition.

    Reply
  13. Claire
    Claire says:

    Just love you even more….thanks for sharing the pretty styled magazine-home and the ‘real’ home. BOTH are beautiful…as is the owner/talent behind the scenes! LOVED seeing you last weekend and sharing your special spread. You deserve it and I’m honored to be your friend (and for the mention!). 🙂 xoxo

    Reply
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