Couple Speak

In the spirit of humorous Couple Speak, I thought I’d share a few humorous miscommunications I’ve had with Pretty Handsome Guy over the years. When we had the living room wall opened, we hired a contractor to do the work, because we believed the wall was load bearing and frankly I didn’t want to “Bear” the blame if the house fell down!

One of the issues we had in our living room was the lack of light fixtures…in the ceiling. The room was dark and dreary and had to be lit by table lamps. Our contractor came up with a brilliant idea for adding more light to the room. When he arrived to start work he asked, “Why not add sconce lights to each side of the opening in the living room? I have to cut holes to move the wiring in your wall anyway.” YES! I yelled. I could have kissed that contractor right there and then. And I would have had it not been for the quizzical expression on Pretty Handsome Guy’s face. I found out later that Pretty Handsome Guy didn’t have the same vision as I did:

Scone vs. Sconce

Normally our communication is spot on. We know exactly what each other means even with very few words. I’ll give you a primer on the language between us:

Me: I have good news and bad news.
Translation: Okay, I’m going to give you the good news first in an attempt to gloss over what I’m afraid to tell you.

PHGuy: Have you seen the plunger?
Translation: If I pretend I can’t find the plunger, then you will find it, ask what I need it for, and then unclog the toilet because you are handy like that!

Me: I don’t want you to freak out, but…
Translation: Okay, so something is broken. Broken so bad, that I can’t fix it. And we need to hire a professional who is going to come in and charge us a lot of money. So, don’t freak out…

PHGuy: Did you get {insert random item here} at the store?
Tranlation: Yes, I forgot to add it on the list, but I’m wondering how you are doing on honing your ESP skills.

You see, we are basically on the same wavelength when it comes to communication. Why waste time with long explanations when you can just Couple Speak! I’m curious, what are the miscommunications or better yet the finely honed communications you and the love of your life share?


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  1. […] you remember this post? The one about 3M’s Couple Speak contest where I admitted that Pretty Handsome Guy […]

  2. […] for the fun stuff! Remember this post about the 3M Couple Speak competition? Well, the contest is still going strong. There are some hilarious translations and videos […]

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